Did You know:
#1 ” the most disturbing part of the adoption industry are the lies disseminated in the West accusing the mother of abandoning the child. The reality was the mother was trained on how to surrender her rights in a most civilized manner. And then, the immediate removal of the child as if an “orphan” at the expense of the mother and community’s reputation makes her appear heartless-as if she never “wanted” the child in the first place.”
My focus in this series is not just to talk about the outer appearance of the child (though very important while sticking with cultural norms and respecting the roots of each child) but to delve deeper into the inner feelings of what adoption means for you, for the family of loss and most importantly for adoptees.
When your adopted child gets older, what will be their narrative….when they read books like Adoption History 101 and begin to go in search of their birth family will you be able to walk with them throughout their inner search or will you be the person hanging onto the possible lies?
Will you be a true ally or only when it is convenient.
The “your mother loved you so much she gave you up” narrative is getting old. If you use this narrative, you may be teaching that love means you give things up. This is NOT what it should be.
The “God brought me to you” narrative is very offensive to many and actually very damaging. You are communicating to your child that God approves of the dismantling of a family, culture and language, just so you can have them.
The “all kids deserve and have the right to a family” narrative is actually true. So what are YOU doing to make sure they stay connected to their first families?
Maybe it is time to change the narrative. But first, you have to change.
Trust me, at some point, they WILL begin asking the harder questions. Where are you in the mix?