He beats me to it every single evening as we curl up in bed. It seems to be the phrase that helps him settle at night because sleeping has never been his favorite thing to do.

Now that we have Toby, our Yorkie, it is a slightly violent and agressive nightly routine…the…who can curl up with me first. Who gets to go under the sheets, blankets and covers…who gets to put their head on mom’s chest first.

It’s always about who can do it first.

He is almost 5 years old now. Time flew but also crawled at the emotionally painful speed of what can only be compared to a turtle who somehow got flipped on his back and desperately needs to be upright.

It was slow on way too many occasions but when I watch him sleep, his little but very long body stretches from one end of the queen-size mattress to the other. His toes basically touch the ends and the tips of his fingers….also.

He is smart, and beautiful, and kind, and loving, and stubborn as FUCK.

I was never really one to believe in the zodiac stuff, but the more I read up on Leos, I can see clearly now the……

He is a leo. He is our leo. And I am more than happy to walk with him through this life. I would definitely like his attitude modified just a bit.

As a stay at home mom, a job that most moms totally understand, we are at work 24/7. And our pay? Maybe Amazon packages, Temu deliveries, Door Dash orders. Our payment usually comes in retail therapy and food. Food we devour and lose almost at the same time. We are rewarded with Thank Yous, and nice job, and “the kitchen looks amazing.”

But we are not really paid with money.

The government should pay mothers to stay at home and raise their kids well.

Kids need to be raised by their parents if they are good people. And those parents should be given a paycheck every two weeks because in reality, the SAHM job is a job and a half. Literally, a job and a half.

As he got older, he has been given more options. What clothes do you want to wear? Which shoes would you like to put on backwards today?

Do you want to swim in the kiddie pool or no? Hotdogs or hamburgers? Waffles or eggs?

As they grow, they get more options, and have more authority. They are growing humans. They were never blank slates.

But there are also situations they don’t and can’t control. Like hanging out with me and doing errands with me.

If I have to go to the store, he has to come with me. He doesn’t always want to, but he always has to if it is just me in the home.

I’ve taken on a few babysitting gigs that I love. When I get paid, he receives a bit of cash. Why? Because he didn’t choose to come with me, he had to come with me. Him playing with the other kids is him “working.” We like to say we both “go to work.”

He didn’t choose.

He doesn’t always want to go.

But he goes because he is almost 5. And when he goes, he has fun. He listens well, he hangs out with me. And I’m thankful.

I’m thankful that I get to hang out with him each day, even if it is part of the day at times. But most of the time, it’s a whole thing.

But does he know that I am thankful for him coming with me?

Not sure.

But I think he deserves to know I am happy to have him and thankful that he gets to hang out.

Im grateful, I get to spend that time with him.

I started about 2 years ago.

I just started whispering “thanks for hanging with me kiddo.”

And it grew to a full “Thank you for Hanging out with me today.

I emphasize TODAY. I want him to know that I am happy and appreciative in the MOMENT.

and the next.

and the next.

and the next.

And every time he gets into the car not by his choosing.

And every time it is time to go to “work.”

Each time I need to go shopping.

Thank you for hanging out with me today. Because I am thankful.

We bond at night that way. I usually start with…

“Hey bud, I have to tell you something. Do you know what?”

And he looks at me with a huge grin. “Thank you for hanging out with me?”

And we both smile, and laugh and then he lays his head gently on my chest and asks me to play Home.

Sleep comes soon after.

Toby decides it is time to go to the bathroom.

Thank you for hanging out with me today!