I love watching crime shows. I watch 48 hr mystery, Live to Tell, Criminal Minds and before it got boring, Law and order.
I watch these shows because I wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel and I wanted to see the criminals brought to justice-because I never had real justice.
Starting with adoption and trafficking, my APs have not been brought to justice yet. The only justice I have received in the past few months was poetic (you can read about that in my blog).
I write romance novels and I also write about my life. I write romance novels because it was what I wished I had growing up…I wished i could be that blonde blue eyed girl that all the boys wanted to hang out with. I didn’t want to be the black dirty haitian that I was so often called.
I make jewelry while watching the above mentioned shows because I have a sense that I need to somehow always be productive otherwise, I can hear in my head my adoptive mother calling me lazy when I just want to relax.
There are reasons for all my actions.
Adoptive parents, what are things you do that directly correlates with how you grew up or how you were raised? Are there certain shows you watch with the hope of a positive ending because maybe yours was not?
Adoptive parents, what are things your adopted children do, say, or read that may be directly correlated to how they are being raised by you, or to their adoption? Are you keeping your eyes open and checking for signs that they need more from you than you are giving them?
My APs always thought I was just sick since I watched the crime shows….but what I could not tell them is that I was one of the victims….each crime show I watched, I could relate to the victim and i couldn’t tell my APs. They wouldn’t understand. They didn’t see or care to see the signs….even though they were right in front of them.
Adoptees…..let’s talk about things you do or don’t do, things you watch or don’t watch that correlate with how you were raised, and with your adoption.