I hate using public bathrooms but sometimes I have to do it. And you gotta do what you gotta do.

I grew up in a pretty big family. 2 men, male foster kids all around, two brothers, three sisters, one woman. So my family was quite big and the boys never put the seat down in the bathroom.

I see putting the seat down to be pointless. It is a waste of time. I mean, putting the seat down takes an extra step. How often do women/girls/ladies take the time to put the seat up for a man/boy/guy in anticipation of a bathroom run? NEVER!! So, why should a man put the seat down for a woman in anticipation of a bathroom run?

Personally, when I walk into a public bathroom,  worrying about whether the seat is up or down is the last thing on my mind. The first thing I do is examine the door knob before walking inside. Is it clean, nasty, or sticky? Then I briefly check my surroundings to make sure there are no creepy people watching me. I walk toward the stall and check out whether there is toilet paper or not. Then, I move toward the toilet to see what is inside. If there is anything floating in it, I gasp, and slowly moonwalk toward the confined space that I have placed myself in. I find the door, pull or push (depending on how shocked I am) and I go to find another stall that is cleaner.

This behavior was not that different at home. In a home full of boys and men, I used the same strategy before stepping into a potentially grave situation. The last thing on my mind was whether the toilet seat was down. In fact, I was happy it was up and here is why:

When men leave the toilet seat up they are actually doing 3 things for us women/ladies/girls.

1. They are giving us a better visual in regards to what is in and around the toilet itself. Putting the seat down would make it harder for us to see the contents of the toilet. We need to approach the toilet even more; so that we can see what is inside. The seat has a layer to it that is thicker and often, riddled with urine and feces. If the toilet seat is left UP for us, we don’t have to worry about wondering what is in the toilet from afar. We can decide quickly to flee the scene.
2. Having the toilet seat up is actually polite…it is like opening the door when you are on a date. When a guy leaves the toilet seat up, they are saying that they respect the next woman who walks into the stall. Of course it is easier for us ladies to sit with a toilet seat, but imagine having a toilet seat that is splashed with yellow drip substance? If a man takes a piss, then puts the toilet seat up, it allows for the urine to slide right off-leaving the actual seat only a little bit less nasty. It saves us a trip to the paper towel dispenser, and a trip back to the toilet.
3. I think having the toilet seat up saves us wondering time. When the toilet seat is up, we don’t have to really wonder whether a male figure used the bathroom. We know immediately that the last person in the bathroom probably had/has a penis of some kind. So if there is a particular smell, or appearance to the stall, we can use deductive reasoning immediately. It is one last mental process we women need to do before and after using the restroom. Leaving the seat up is like evidence of a crime that has been committed. It is the forensic evidence in a 48 hour mystery. The cops can start asking the right questions and looking for a male perpetrator if their assumption is correct.

I think it is not fair that men have to put the toilet seat down in anticipation of a woman using the bathroom. What if another man wants to use the bathroom? Having the seat up saves them time and energy, and muscle strength. They are being polite to their own kind too. They are actually being less sexist.

If a woman were to use the toilet and then put the seat up for an anticipated penis carrier, that would allow the men to use the same 3 reasons women use to keep the seat up. But women don’t want to take the time to put the seat up after a bathroom use. So why should men take the time to put the seat down after using the bathroom?

Aren’t we searching for equality here?

I know for a fact there is no way I’m going to take the time to put the toilet seat up for the next penis holder. I just don’t have time for that. And yet, women are not reprimanded for not doing this.

Only men are. They are called slobs and pigs, and dirty, and rude, and gross, and macho. The list goes on and on. And yet, when they walk into a public bathroom, or their own bathroom, seldom do they see the seat up welcoming them to this wonderful urinating experience.

Why should they put the seat down, when we don’t put the seat up? Sounds like a double standard.