The Perks Of Being An Adoptee

The perks Adoption is complex and each adoption is unique. There is something that unites all adoptees though and it is loss. Many find happiness, joy, understanding, and their birth family while at the same time experiencing great pain. There are also adoptees who have had less ideal experiences. What they do with their life is up to each individual and many choose to write to make light of their lived experience. One of the perks of being an adoptee is realizing that we are powerful beyond all measure and the way we tell our story is beautiful, thought-provoking, painful, insightful, humorous and unique. And at the end of the day, there are always perks to being an adoptee.

Slide1   Adoption is complicated because it begins with loss. Like an onion, there are so many layers to peel back to get to the heart of each individual story. Children don’t ask to be adopted, nor do they ask to have their entire world turned upside-down. Children don’t look through a catalog to choose their “perfect” family. Adoptive Parents do. Has your adoption journey been tough? Will there be a light at the end of it? A rainbow? A Unicorn? Did you drink the adoption Kool-Aid?

Slide2This workbook, created to be used with the book Rainbows But Not Unicorns: My Adoption Truth, is filled with questions that are meant to help you reflect on your life and the life of your adopted children. Read the questions carefully and do your best to use your answers to bring your family closer together.


415OPGgQkSL._AA160_A very bright eleven year old girl, attending a private school in Haiti realizes the importance of her family and friends. She observes those who were not given the opportunity to be educated and tells herself that she does not want to be “Menm jan ak yo.” She is given several opportunities to see different parts of the world. The trips make her wise beyond her years. Tragedy in Haiti strikes and it is now up to her to find the living among the dead. She loses all hope in finding her best friend but still believes that her parents may still be alive. Looking frantically for her Mami and Papi in the debris, she comes to terms with the fact that she may never see them again. Life as she knows it ceases to exist until she encounters several other victims on the way to Port-Au-Prince to find food. Her bond with the broken and hungry gives her the strength to search her heart and soul for what death and life really means.

41POBqINO6L._AA160_Una niña de once años, muy brillante, que asiste a una escuela privada en Haití, se da cuenta de la importancia de su familia y amigos. Observa a los que no se les dio la oportunidad de ser educados y le dice a sí misma que no quiere ser “mem jan ak yo.” Ella se da varias oportunidades para ver las distintas partes del mundo. Los viajes le da sabiduria. Tragedia en Haití pasa y ahora es ella que tiene que encontrar a los vivos entre los muertos. Ella pierde toda esperanza en la búsqueda de su mejor amiga, pero todavía cree que sus padres pueden estar vivos. Buscando desesperadamente a su mami y papi en los escombros, comienza aceptar de que quizas nunca pueda volver a verlos. La vida como ella sabe, deja de existir hasta que se encuentra con varias otras víctimas en el camino a Port-Au-Prince para encontrar comida. Su vínculo con el partido y con hambre le da la fuerza para buscar en su corazón y el alma de lo que realment significa la muerte y la vida.

41n1z8YXogL._AA160_Growing up with Jason was so much fun. We didn’t know that we would actually want to spend the rest of our lives together. But when I set eyes on the prettiest professor I had ever seen, my idea of love, lust, and sex changed forever.

jogging to hell The last jog I took marked me for life. The home invasion was real. I really did have my hands tied and my eyes covered. My adoptive father really was naked, laying there wondering when the beatings from the men in black masks would end. His back bloodied, his face paler than I’d ever seen before. That one window of escape was too risky. My disabled brother was left behind while my adoptive mother mysteriously escaped the horror of it all. The gun went off and hearing in my ears ceased.

41Fs4ccZnLL._AA160_Can one person really change the world? Can a child be the source of change in an individual’s life? As the book begins with a description of a single prize, Mae chooses to disclose what life was like as a Haitian child and teen living in a country that despises her because of her color and history her culture possesses. All throughout her life she encountered challenges that made her feel small, and insignificant but it was one thread that kept her going. The thread was a baby that came into her life at the age of 13 and changed it forever!

51Ctg8NtEFL._AA160_Life, love, community and history all answer the one question all of God’s creation is asking and have been asking for years. Those who do not wonder are like objects that have no life or breath. Everyone asks it in a different way but essentially it is asked. Is it ever answered? What Part of me is Saved is a book about my thoughts and feelings. It is a book that includes short stories and scenarios and very blunt observations of who I am and my part of the question. You can laugh, cry, feel angry or hurt but mostly I want you to just sing, and make your song be the answer to the question. My song is!

product_thumbnail (2) Every adoption involves trauma and loss at some point. So what does the Multiple Intelligence theory and Adoption Trauma Healing have in common?




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